I don’t wait anymore.

I kind of wish I wrote this because I agree with much of what the author said. The theology this young woman discusses wreaked havoc on my life, a type of havoc I am still trying to recover from. The “cause” and “effect” theology of “If you wait to have sex, then you will be blessed” is damaging because that isn’t necessarily the case. As I’m wont to argue, the “If you do good, then you’ll prosper” formula went away with Job and Solomon and we are existing in the “If you do good, you might prosper or you might not and either way it’s still all good–and all God.” (I can unpack this at another time.) You will not be more blessed because you waited to have sex or less blessed because you didn’t. Your husband or wife won’t arrive any faster because you abstained nor will he or she delay because you didn’t. I’m not saying this is license to be reckless but I am willing to say that type of theology is reckless and slightly unsubstantiated–at least if you have any empirical evidence from your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ that says the opposite. Lord there is so much more I could say, but I want folks to read the original post and formulate their own thoughts. What do you think?

Sex & the Sanctuary 2.0

As I stated a few days ago, I’m back. I have been rejuvenated by wonderful conversations with professors and friends who have made me realize that the only way to work through my thoughts about sex and sexual ethics is to write about it. So, before I get back to the business of writing about it I thought that I would share why I am writing about it. 

I started this blog after hearing a racy spoken-word piece in a sanctuary. Though I was at odds with the words coming out of the artist’s mouth, I was also clear about the fact that if we are going to hear these words what better place to hear them than in the safe space of the sanctuary. I was clear about that fact that the conversations I wanted to have about sex and sexual ethics must be informed by multi-vocal conversation, particularly conversation that acknowledges our humanity and our divinity or spirituality. I believe that in this day and age, our conversations about sex and the sexual ethic that we employ in our lives must come out of critical engagement and reflection and nothing less. This blog will not add to the sugar-coated conversations about sex that I believe are still running rampant in the church. I am not here to wag my finger at anyone having sex either because I am well aware of the ever-increasing population of single Christians having sex. Our conversation won’t start with “No you can’t have sex,” because clearly that hasn’t worked and we all know it. I’m here to talk about the “Yes, No, and the Maybe.” I’m here to treat the topic of sex in the church with the care that it hasn’t been handled with because the previous handlers have been treating people like one-dimensional poster boards and not the three-dimensional, full-bodied like a glass of a good wine, people that we are. And lest you think I’m avoiding what the scriptures have to say about it, I’m not. We will talk about sex in the Bible since that is how the foundation has been set for many of us.

I also want to know the questions that people are asking about sex and sexual ethics. The questions that they haven’t been able to discuss in church for one reason or another. I want to create a safe space where very little is not up for discussion because, if we are a people who believe that God knows all–including our hearts and our struggles as we are wont to say–we ought to be able to communicate with God and each other about sex maturely and openly. All I ask is that you enter this space with an open heart and mind and be respectful of your fellow reader’s opinions. 

Lastly and most importantly, I don’t profess to have all of the answers but I am someone interested in learning what the answers may be with you. 

So, with all that being said, let’s get back to talking about sex and sexual ethics. 

I’m Coming Back!

I’ve been away for a while, partly because I’ve been busy with school and partly because I’ve not known how to write about what it is I want to write about here. But after an enriching weekend at the American Academy of Religion Annual Meetings I am inspired to come back and hopefully do better by myself as I try to write about this complicated thing called sex and do better by you, the readers who might stumble upon this blog in the hopes of being enlightened, enraged, energized, etc. In the weeks to come look out for post on pop culture’s perpetual virgin syndrome, defining masturbation, womanhood in urban music, and much more…

See you soon and Happy Thanksgiving!

Censoring Cosmo Magazine

Censoring Cosmo

I just happened upon this article about a petition circulating to censor Cosmo. If the authors of this petition have their way–and if the already 33,000 signatures have any say–the magazine will be packaged in non-transparent wrapping and not sold to anyone under the age of 18. This is supposed to help in cutting down the negative consequences of following Cosmopolitan’s advice on sex–because that’s what this is really about.

So, what do think about this? Let’s talk about the implication of distributing messages on sex and sexuality in the media to young people. Let’s even talk about the implication of these messages on the sexual identity of adults. Are you pro-censorship or anti-censorship? What role do parents play?